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Monday Dec 10, 2018
Monday Dec 10, 2018
Poetry
What is the first thought you have when you hear the word poetry? What do you think about poetry? Do you read it, write it, enjoy it?
What does it do?
Some people think poetry is so "last century", while others deeply appreciate it. My perspective is that Poetry is a gift and a wonderful means to connect our awareness to deep and powerful emotional experiences. Sometimes a poem allows you to really feel the depth of your feelings in a way that help you make sense of them. Not an intellectual sense, but true knowing and understanding of what is going on inside of you at that moment.
Word Pictures
Poetry uses metaphor and word pictures to help the reader really understand what the poet is conveying. I am a therapist and I work with many clients who have survived unspeakable horrors. I hear stories at times that make me want to burst with sorrow, rage and confusion. I can't believe how people can be so damaging to members of their own families. I have some of my own hard early memories so I have great empathy and compassion. Sometimes the only way I can let go of huge emotions that I feel after hearing horror stories, especially from teenagers, is to write it down. I use poetry to connect internally to my deep feelings and then release them onto the paper using words as containers for the affect.
Poem Anyone?
I will share a few poems here to demonstrate ways to connect to unpleasant and intense emotions. The first is more playful, but the second is full or rage and despair for my young clients that suffer from their own parents. Writing these words down helped me have hope for healing and to keep working with these children without falling into a deep dark depression.
Do try this at home!
I encourage you to give poetry a try. It only has to make sense to you. The words are for you after all, and not for anyone else. Let me know how it goes. Thank you for listening.
Wednesday Nov 28, 2018
Wednesday Nov 28, 2018
Today's podcast is an example of how the principles we have been sharing, stress management, anxiety reduction and listening to your body, actually work in the real world.
Gio and I have been podcasting about these and other subjects for a while now and last month brave Gio overcame her fears and got certified to scuba dive and went on 10 dives in the Caymans. She is claustrophobic, and had panic attacks at the thought of being trapped somewhere, including underwater.
But by connecting with her heart, and her courage, and using some of the tools we have been sharing, she was able to overcome this fear and have a wonderful, meaningful new life experience. Now she loves scuba diving, which is why I call her the scuba princess.
Listen to hear her experience and hear what allowed her to make this major change and reduce her anxiety about something she had feared for years.
For more information here is a good article from very well mind.
https://www.verywellmind.com/healthy-ways-to-face-your-fears-4165487
Monday Sep 24, 2018
Monday Sep 24, 2018
In Today’s podcast we will talk about the values of community vs individualism. Which is better, to focus our energy on the collective (we) like the Japanese culture? Or, to focus on the individual (me) like our US popular culture seems to suggest?
Balance is key
As with anything, balance is important in this equation. I know people, and I was one of them, who focus so much on the We, there is no room for the Me. No room for self-care or self-identity. Just an almost obsessive focus upon other people. This can lead to burnout. I also know people and see them on TV, people so focused on the Me, that they care little for how their actions impact society and the We.
Self-care helps with balance
I am suggesting that better caring for ourselves helps us gain this balance. That a healthy self-love and self-care can help us walk this road with energy and wisdom. It can help us care for the We and the Me! It can also help us know when more energy needs to go to one side or the other. Even Jesus states, “Love your neighbor AS yourself”, so they appear to be connected.
Notice this week, what is your natural inclination, to care more about the We or the Me? Try focusing a bit more on your less balanced side this week and see what occurs.
Monday Sep 24, 2018
Monday Sep 24, 2018
What are sensations in our body and why are they important? That is the topic of today’s podcast. And, the answer is simple, our body sensations are the physiological shifts that underly our emotions. Listening to sensations as they occur will help us better deal with our emotions, especially the ones we deem unpleasant.
Sensation Language
To help get you better listen to your body’s message, think about sensation as a language to re-learn. As children we spoke the language of sensation so well. As we age it seems we prefer to listen to our racing minds that jump from past to the future. Rather than listening to our bodies sensation messages that are based upon what is occurring right now in the present.
Practice listening
We have included a smattering of sensation words for you to get you started. Take some time this week to listen to your body and the language of sensation. See what you notice.
Thursday Sep 20, 2018
Thursday Sep 20, 2018
Today we finally drop Part 2 of this podcast. We continue our exploration of the human body with respect to Feelings/Sensations and Emotions.
Living Embodied
To really be able to feel our emotions and deal healthily with the challenges in our lives, we need to experience embodied living. That is, to live and be present in our minds and whole bodies while experiencing each situation in our daily lives. Watch a child really live in his or her body and not in the head like grownups tend to do. Children engage with the world using their bodies, they don’t mind getting dirty and they feel things very deeply. Sometimes they will tantrum or lose it because they feel so much, but have little experience how to deal with big emotions. (Sometimes adults do as well.)
2 E’s of Emotional Metabolism
One method I have found that really helps metabolize BIG emotions is to use the 2 E’s. Doing so helps us deal with BIG emotions from a healthy place. The first E is to really Experience the emotion in your mind and body, not ignore it or try to avoid feeling it. Really let yourself be in the experience. Then use the 2nd E, Expression. Take a moment to feel the emotion and decide how best to Express it in that moment. That might mean speaking out loud to another person, or it may be something internally that you do. But you give the Emotion some form of Expression so it stops living inside you. Doing both allows the BIG emotion to break down into a smaller experience that is easier to handle.
Expanded Emotional Range
One great gift of using the 2 E’s is our emotional range gets expanded and we are able to be with all kinds of different emotions. A painter can make a much more expressive artwork by using many colors rather than just a few primary ones. So hopefully today’s podcast will be another helpful tool for you to add to your emotional toolbox.
Tuesday Aug 28, 2018
Tuesday Aug 28, 2018
Feeling is an aspect of humanness
Today is part 1 of To feel or not to feel, and we will talk about the body’s language, sensation and why it matters for your life. In my title, I am borrowing a bit from the famous old Bard here. But to feel or not to feel is almost as important of a question as to be or not to be. Feelings, sensations, and emotions are an embedded and embodied aspect of our humanness and an outcome of living in a body. So not feeling at all is not an option. But to smother those feelings or to try to ignore them, that for many people is a very popular option. I used to live like that for years. Hiding and smothering any big uncomfortable feelings, sensations or emotions.
Living without feelings diminishes vitality
But I found hiding from my emotions makes me a little less human. I lose some of the vibrancy of authentic being and life does not feel as good. Most of us hide from our big emotions out of fear. Fear of how bad they feel, fear of what they mean and fear of what they may “make” us do! But the paradoxical reality is that if we allow our feelings to come up and listen to them, they will calm down quickly. Sensations and emotions are just our body trying to talk to us about aspects of our life through its only language.
Selective Smothering
The other downside of trying to smother or hide from the “negative” emotions we encounter is that we lose the intensity of the positive emotions. You can’t smother one range and not the other. The repressing works on all our emotions and sensations. So tune in to find out why ALL of your emotions are good and matter to your life.
For some more information and great content go to this video http://theglobalsuccessacademy.com/ted-talks/
And, this article https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2015/01/what-the-feelings-you-most-suppress-are-trying-to-tell-you/
Wednesday Aug 01, 2018
Wednesday Aug 01, 2018
Multi-tasking, not all it’s cracked up to be
In Today’s podcast we debunk the myth that Multi-tasking makes people automatically more effective and efficient. When we do more than one thing at a time, our focus is necessarily diluted and often diverted away from what is most important.
One is sometimes better than Two.
I am suggesting today that staying present and mindful whether you are engaging in tasks, chores, or interactions with other humans, is a superior way to live. Living this way will bring you much more joy and daily pleasure. Thus the title, “In praise of Uni-tasking.”
If you are putting out a fire you want all of the water to shoot out the nozzle. You don’t want some of it to leak out other places. Keeping our focus solely on what we are doing or with the person in front of us, allows all of our energy and intention to be available.
Less Anxiety with Uni-tasking
Trying to do a few things at once can actually increase our anxiety levels and cause us to race about and lose our peaceful grounded sensations. So this week, pick a day and try uni-taking. Keep all of your energy and focus on what is right in front of you at each moment. See what happens.
For a good article from Forbes suggesting you get more done by uni-tasking than multi-tasking go to :
Wednesday Jul 25, 2018
Wednesday Jul 25, 2018
Pacing vs. Racing
Do you remember the fable, “the Tortoise and the Hare”? What does that have to do with our lives? Quite a bit actually. Are you chronically racing about in your daily life or do you have a specific pace that works well for you and helps you feel happy and productive?
Many of us race through our lives, I call it “waterskiing on the surface of my life”, something I used to do on a regular basis. Moving that quickly helped me feel productive and successful. It also nicely kept me from feeling my deep pains and fears. When you are moving at the speed of light, you can’t feel the depth of your life. Deep feelings take time to unearth and encounter.
Health Problems
This way of living is also problematic for our emotional and physical health. Speeding about causes your body to produce adrenaline too much and too often. This stress hormone is intended to help keep us alive when we are in actual danger. But in big doses it is hard on our cells and tissues.
Slow is a better way to go
Slowing down and respecting our limits allow us to live at the right pace for us. This also makes us more productive and better able to focus and succeed. Studies show the most productive people are “on” for 50 minutes and “off” for 10. So slowing down, taking pauses actually improves our productively. So like the peaceful tortoise, remember life is a marathon NOT A SPRINT. The turtle won the race, the harried hare lost it.
For more information, here is a great book on Life Pacing.